Jo Piazza by Love Rehab

Author:Love Rehab
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Admit to yourself and someone else all the crazy shit you have done

“I’m Cameron, and I’m a love addict. This week I booty texted three ex-boyfriends.”

Cameron had gone off the deep end after running into Vegan Biter with his new fiancée. I pointed out that the silver lining of that particular run-in is that there is indeed someone for everyone.

To save time, Cameron texted all three at once.

I miss you. Come over.

Well, all three came over. In fact, they all met in the elevator and drunkenly chatted about the proximity of a very delicious underground hot dog shop around the corner that fried their hot dogs before wrapping them in bacon and frying them again before covering them in both chili and cheese. A sad truth is that at three in the morning many a man will choose greasy food over sex that he likely can’t see through to completion. So they all set off together, and Cameron was left alone in her apartment. She was given the information from Maxem, her faithful doorman, whom she had also once tried to make out with after seeing her college boyfriend pushing a baby stroller down the street.

“Why did I let Vegan Biter upset me so much?” Cameron wailed. “Why did I care? I didn’t like him when he bit me, but when I thought I couldn’t have him anymore because he belonged to someone else, all of a sudden I can’t get him out of my damn head.”

We all admitted to having a hamster wheel in our head.

“I think I do it because I watched my parents and their really unhappy marriage,” Cameron volunteered. “In the back of my mind, that seems normal, because I don’t really have positive role models for how love should be. I think drama equals love so I just chase the drama instead of trying to find someone who can make me really happy. ”

“Low self-esteem,” Katrina chimed in, adding the caveat, “I’ve been asked this before.”

“Bloody romantic comedies,” Jordana blurted out. “I mean, all they do is tell us that true love is simply one hilarious misunderstanding away and once that hilarious misunderstanding is overcome, then you will live happily ever after. It is bullshit. I didn’t find a hilarious misunderstanding in my boyfriend’s e-mail. I found a fucking pervert! There is no misunderstanding that. But if this were a romantic comedy, those e-mails would all be part of an elaborate hoax he was staging for a buddy for his stag night. Did that thought run through my mind? OF COURSE IT DID. That is why these romantic comedies are ruining our lives.”

Stella applauded and snapped her fingers.

We all agreed. Romantic comedies had in some way contributed to all of us obsessing over the idea of romantic love. But how could we break that cycle right now? We really had no choice but to do what we did next. In order to debunk their lies, we had to expose ourselves to them—all of them.

And so

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